My Shadows

by Ian
(Utah)

When I was about 16 I started to get into partying and drugs and other teenage nonsense and one night some of my friends and I decided that we were going to play with this thing called a demon board, but to make it more spooky we decided it would be a good idea to experiment with this possibly demonic thing in a graveyard at a ghost town (and yes I am very aware that was a brilliant idea but this event I think is what turned my life around in a positive way).

After a night of demon board in the old cemetery I started seeing these things I can only call shadows. Mostly I would see them out of the corner of my eye but every time I saw one it sent chills down my spine and it seemed more and more I only saw them when I was doing something I shouldn't be doing.

And on top of this I started having nightmares every night about the things I was seeing so I stopped seeing the shadows and the nightmares became less intense as I stopped using drugs and drinking and I had almost forgot about them then on my 18 birthday my friends talked me into partying for one night like we used to.

It got really wild and at the end of the night being drunk and high I made it to my bed and as I closed my eyes I felt something breathing on me. I opened my eyes circled by my shadows and it felt like they were ripping me apart! Everywhere one of them touched me it burned white hot and I swear I died that night. I had never felt so much pain and I even remember screaming out loud telling them to just kill me, but somehow I made it through.

It's been 2 years 17 weeks and 3 days since I have seen a shadow, but I still have nightmares every night and I am terrified of the dark. I have to sleep with my TV on or a light and even though I can't see the shadows I can feel them watching me. When I have any strong angry or sad emotions I can feel them breathing down my neck, but if I stay positive it seems like it chases them further away.

Even though they scare me I am almost thankful that they scared me straight, I guess, but I still want to understand even just a little what I unleashed on myself that night.