Let me tell you about my grandpa. He was the kind of grandpa that you see in the movies - big as a bull, jolly as the green giant. Santa Clause did not have a thing on this guy. As a world war 2 vet he had a rough beginning. He and grandma had a tough life. Working the land for food is not for people with sensitive hands. I was his favourite grandchild (I like to think) because I was the only boy.
Anyway he was my hero, he was my male role model, grew up without a father because, well who knows why, but one day he left me and my sisters(2), and I do not feel like looking him up because as far as it goes for me he is just a guy who had sex with mom and gave her 3 children, not my father. Anyway my grandpa died when I was in the first year of college. I made him proud that year... first one in our family to go to college.
He died of cancer. I was shocked to see him in the hospital like that, the man who could run around with me and my sisters in his back, the giant, now no bigger than a stray dog curled in his hospital bed. He saw that and asked me never to come to hospital again - he will be home soon and we would watch the game together as we always did. He died soon after and I was destroyed.
I felt hurt, mad at him for leaving me, shamed for feeling mad, and all those over and over. We buried him and I told him I am not coming to see him, not there, and I didn't. After the funeral I went home to my grandparents room and it felt strangely comfortable as if nothing happened. I was feeling a little ashamed, I mean come on - your grandpa died and you feel this cozy - what is wrong with me?
Soon after, the strange little things happened. The door was locked even though I remember leaving home and forgetting to lock it. The house where I live became more neat, as in clothes I leave around the house found their way to the bin or cabinet doors closing themselves (I'm a bit of a slob), the TV turned itself on to his favourite shows and so on...just little weird stuffs.
I did not say this to anybody because frankly I believed I am crazy or in a coma and it was all a dream of my ill brain.
Anyway I decided to test it when as I watched a football game and drinking a beer I saw a print as of pants or wrinkled fabric or something on the coffee table (some dust was cleared) where he would rest his legs as we were watching some game. I freaked out and shouted.... Gramps are you here? Nothing happened, as if the time stopped... I calmed down a bit and said... "well old man watch my back from upstairs..." and went to the toilet.
When I returned I almost died of fright... on the coffee table there were written in dust four words as if answers....yes I am... and... always.
I know now he has my back even though the strange things in the house got fewer and fewer until they stopped. The only thing I miss is his voice because he is always with me either near or above.
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